Incognito 101
by Lady Scarring
Summary: Someone wants to ruin the Bladebreakers, so they make a plan to turn them into girls! Problem is, they had no idea how long it would last and they didn’t count on the fact that the boys would get help... Cliché with a twist. DISCONTINUED
1. Runin With the Nasty

Someone wants to ruin the Bladebreakers, so they put a solution in their orange juice that turns them into girls! Problem is, they had no idea how long it would last and they didn't count on the fact that the boys would get help. And what better help than a girl? The mother of all clichés and just plain silliness. What happens when I read too many gender-bender fics and have a carton of orange juice. 

Disclaimer: Beyblade and all associated characters and themes belong to Aoki Takao-sensei. Any unrecognized characters belong to me. I have no idea who started this nutty idea, so I can't take ownership, but this version belongs to me.

And so it begins…

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**_Incognito 101_**

_**1. Run-in With the Nasty**_

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"Did you hear what this was for?"

"Nope."

Tim scowled and hefted the tray onto his shoulder for balance. He, like his partner, wore a stiff penguin suit for their temporary job as waiters at the banquet. They had been contracted to serve orange juice, of all things, to the renowned champion team, the Bladebreakers.

He had right off thought it was stupid.

However, he was paid too much money to say it aloud and not do it.

But he still thought it was stupid.

It didn't help that his partner wasn't a talker and only gave monosyllabic answers.

Ten minutes into the job, he was bored.

"What's that?" he asked when he saw his partner – he hadn't gotten his name even though he asked – stir a clear liquid into the four glasses of orange juice.

"Vitamins," was the grunted reply.

"Then why are only the Bladebreakers getting them?"

The other ignored him. He continued to stir, taking a look at his watch after thirty beats – Tim had counted – and set down the spoon. Then he placed the glasses on the tray, giving Tim a shove in the direction of the tables. "Go."

Annoyed with being treated like a child, Tim glared at him before he strode out of the kitchen.

The Bladebreakers were easy to find. Following the largest amount of commotion, Tim wove his way through the crowds of reporters and photographers to stand beside their table. The four bladers barely acknowledged him – their leader not acknowledging anyone, actually – as he set a glass in front of each of them. The one called Takao Kinomiya drank it without a thought, setting the glass down just as another reporter shouted a question. The blond beside him, Max Mizuhara, studied it, shrugged, and gulped it down. The Chinese blader didn't seem to notice it was even there and their leader ignored it altogether.

_Drink… Come on! I won't get paid if you don't drink._

"Sirs, orange juice, complements of Mr Dickinson," he said loudly, indicating the remaining two glasses with his free hand.

Rei Kon blinked and stared at him for a moment before he smiled and obliged, taking a long sip.

Kai continued to ignore him.

"Mr Hiwatari?" he questioned in hopes of perhaps waking the team captain up. He _appeared_ to be sleeping, at least.

A crimson eye opened to regard him with a look of mild annoyance before it closed again.

"Aw, come on, Captain Sourpants!" Takao teased, poking his captain with a finger. "The dude brought it over here just for you."

Tim felt slightly better when he saw that Kai was ignoring his teammate, too.

"Maybe you should just indulge him," Rei said quietly, angling his head in Tim's direction. "I don't think he can leave until you drink it."

_Yes! Yes! Listen to the cat-boy!_

"What are ya, afraid of orange juice?"

Both eyes snapped open to level the navy-haired teen with a glare. "Don't be stupid."

"Then why aren't you drinking it?" Takao asked innocently, waving his empty glass at the older boy. "C'mon, buddy. I'll stop calling you Captain Sourpuss for a week."

Rei bit his lip to keep from laughing upon seeing Kai's glare transform into a scowl. "Try a month and you might have a bargain, Takao."

"Fine then, a month," he conceded, tapping the bill of his baseball hat with the rim of his glass.

Kai grumbled something along the lines of "Anything to shut you up" and promptly downed the entire glass, shoving it away, arms once again crossed tightly over his chest.

Tim could have kissed him.

Gathering all of the glasses, he placed them back on the tray and ran off.

Mission accomplished.

"Done!" he exclaimed excitedly the moment he reentered the kitchen. The tray was promptly dumped into the sink as he stripped off the bowtie and jacket, tossing them into the trash. The money waited for him in a neat roll on the counter and he snatched it up, tucking it into his pocket. "I'm out of here."

His partner ignored him.

Tim shrugged, running out of the crowded kitchen and into the back alley behind it, pulling off his white button-up shirt as he went. His fingers snagged on a button and, because he wasn't paying attention, ran straight into a small body with an impact that knocked them both to the ground.

"Ow! Hey, watch it, jerk!" a girl snapped, rubbing her head even as she glared at him.

"Don't have to get all snippy," Tim sniffed, struggling out of his shirt to reveal a simple blue tank top.

"Feh, whatever man." The girl pushed herself to her feet, stomping on the end of her skateboard to send it flying right into her hand.

"Rude little snot," he grumbled as he brushed himself off. "Run along and…do whatever it is that you kids do." He sniffed again, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to appear superior and stalked off.

The girl stared after him even after he left the alley, one hand on her hip and the other still holding her board. "Weird guy… Wonder if he'll miss this?" She tossed the roll of money she had snagged from their run-in into the air, catching it absently and dropping it into her pocket with a shrug. "Oh well."

With that, she boarded off to wreak havoc somewhere else.

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_**Tsudzuku**_

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Wah-hey! First chapter done and I hate it. But it was necessary. If anyone can figure out who the girl is, I'll give you a cookie.

Next chapter is where the real fun begins. Updates should be quick 'cause this is just a fun and easy little thing… Shouldn't take too long to complete, either.

Wah-hey-wubbaheywoobahee-wahwah-HEY...! Until next time, review!

– MI


	2. Women Troubles

Excuse the crappiness of my writing in this, I'm just messing around. It's not the best thing I've ever done far from it but I like it anyway because I occasionally _like_ acting like an immature little twit.

Disclaimer: I own only my characters and the story. No money-makey.

And onward to the insanity written, oddly enough, at a time that wasn't midnight.

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_**Incognito 101**_

_**2. Women Troubles**_

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Kai Hiwatari was rudely awakened from a deep slumber at nine am the next morning. It took him a few moments to clear the fuzziness in his mind and identify the sound as a scream. Or more accurately, Takao's scream. Too tired to yell, Kai buried his head beneath his pillow and tried to go back to sleep.

This idea was thrown out the window when he heard a loud exclamation from Max, almost immediately followed by a horrified yelp from Rei.

"_KAI!"_

The leader of the Bladebreakers wrapped his arms around the pillow, holding it tightly to his head in an attempt to block out their yells and pounding footsteps. It was Saturday, the one day he had permitted his team to take as a break from training, and they wanted him to be _up_ now? No way.

"_Kai!_ I can't _pee!_"

Said person decided to ignore the navy-haired teen that now stood in the doorway of his room, panting heavily from his mad dash to seek help from his captain.

"Oh man, Kai! You're still normal, you gotta help us!" Max wailed from nearby.

"_Kai!"_

Takao bolted into the room and pounced on Kai's bed, sending both of them tumbling to the floor in a mess of tangled limbs and sheets. "We need your help…" His voice died off as he stared dumbfounded at a very pissed off Kai, who was now on his back with Takao sitting in his lap. While the position itself could have been described as odd, Kai's appearance was a hundred times worse.

Smoky crimson eyes glared at him through long, dark lashes set on flawless ivory skin while silken strands of disheveled silver hair fell over his brow and cheeks, full, pink mouth curled into a scowl. Pale shoulders molded into beautifully toned arms while the neckline of the baggy black tank top fell to reveal a new feature that made Takao's cheeks burn and jaw drop.

"_What?"_ Kai demanded, moving to shove the boy off his lap when he stopped abruptly.

"Kai… I think we have a problem," Rei said, fidgeting as his team captain stared at his hands. For once Kai's expression was something other than the cold marble mask or look of annoyance he showed to the public. Now, eyes wide in shock, he could only stare at the transformation that had befallen them all.

That was the first time any of his teammates had ever heard him swear at something other than Takao.

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"Since when was I a messenger pigeon?" a girl grumbled under her breath as she stomped toward the elevator. "Oh, dear, it's such an _honor_ to talk to the Bladebreakers! World champions!" she said in a high-pitched simpering voice, mimicking the receptionist that had informed her as to where to go. She punched the button that read five with her thumb, glaring moodily as the elevator doors pulled shut.

Arms crossed over her chest, she tapped her foot impatiently on the tiled floor. She had been in a good mood when she had woken up that morning at eight, even when she had been called to Mr Dickinson's office. That went downhill the second he had asked her to do an errand for him. It seemed that the phones were down in the hotel and he had to relay a message to the Bladebreakers but he didn't trust most of his secretaries because they were likely to jump the teens for autographs.

'_I trust you my dear, and I know that you will not be swayed by the proximity of such famous people.'_

_What a wonderful way to put it._ She scowled at the doors even as they opened on the fifth floor, stalking out and into the hallway toward room number two-oh-nine.

"I'm not a no-name myself, old man." Large eyes scanning the gold-colored plates that stated the door numbers, she finally reached two-oh-nine. "You better be decent," she announced loudly as she opened the door, not even bothering to knock.

She stopped short just a step inside.

"…Does your fan club know that you guys cross-dress?"

The four teenagers whirled around in varying expressions of horror and confusion to see a short girl about their age standing in the doorway, one hand on the door knob and the other stuffed in the pocket of her baggy black cargos. Wild silver hair highlighted purple in the sun hung straight down to her hips, even more disheveled bangs shadowing amethyst eyes. In both ears was a tangle of silver hoops and chains, one of which coming to rest on her shoulder. The navy blue T-shirt clung to her figure, revealing small curves and a silver dragon tattoo on her side. Despite her diminutive size, she still pulled off a completely unthreatened and incredulous expression.

"We're _not_," the two-toned teen snapped, eyes narrowed at the intruder.

If it were at all possible, her expression became even more incredulous. "…Right. Look, I'm supposed to give a message to the Bladebreakers. Last I checked, they were guys. And you are the _weirdest_ fans I have ever seen."

"We _were_ guys!" the navy-haired girl cried, stomping her foot childishly. A pair of cobalt eyes glared at her through a mass of dark bangs, one hand jammed on a curvy hip while they other pointed an accusing finger at her. "And we _are_ the Bladebreakers!"

"Takao, shut it! She'll just go and tell the media-" the Chinese girl began.

"Actually I hadn't even thought of that, but it sounds like a good idea," the silver-haired girl interrupted, smirking when she saw the alarmed looks on the other girls' faces.

"But that's heartless!" the blonde cried, speaking for the first time.

The girl gave her a blank look that stated quite clearly 'so?'

The tallest of the four sighed heavily, running a hand through her slate-colored bangs. "Shut the door," she said tiredly.

"_What?_ But, _Kai…!_" The one called Takao nearly fell over in surprise, clutching the arm of a chair to keep her balance.

"Shut up," she snapped, glaring at the shorter girl. Takao immediately fell silent but the other two looked at her in question. "As much as I hate to admit it, we need help."

Amethyst eyes wide with interest, the girl obligingly shut the door and dropped into a chair, legs swinging over one arm with her back resting against the other. "Well then, let's hear it. What the fuck did you do?"

"Nothing," the navy-haired girl grumbled. "We woke up."

"From the beginning, idiot."

While the crimson-eyed girl glared at Takao, the Chinese girl sighed and dropped onto the couch, cradling her head in her hands. "I'm Rei Kon, the blonde's Max Mizuhara, that's Takao Kinomiya, and that one's Kai Hiwatari, our team leader. We were guys yesterday but when we woke up…" She made a motion with her slender arms to show the curves hidden by her black sweats and white T-shirt.

The girl stared unblinkingly at them for a long time before she finally got to her feet and crouched in front of Rei, reaching forward to squeeze a breast. The Chinese blader yelped in a mixture of pain and surprise, jumping up and away from her. "What was that for?"

"Wanted to know if they were real," she explained in a tone that suggested any idiot could have seen that, rocking back on her heels to study the four of them at a different angle. "So… You guys were at the party downstairs yesterday and you were dudes. You went to sleep and were still dudes. Woke up and were girls?"

"Yes," Max said miserably, sinking into the armchair the real girl had vacated a moment before to molest Rei.

For a long moment, the girl kept silent, simply staring at the team until suddenly she snorted, chewing on her cheek. All four boys-turned-girls stared at her as she snorted again, coughed, and then burst into a fit of hysterical laughter.

"It's not funny!" Takao whined, dropping onto the floor beside Max.

"Yes it is," she gasped between bouts of laughter, eyes shining, mouth curved into a broad grin as she clutched her sides. "The most famous people in the world with a fan club that includes most of the female population and a few guys… All of you with your own fan sites - especially Kai - with shots by the paparazzi with you guys swimming, getting dressed, blading…"

Crimson eyes narrowed while the other three had the grace to blush. "You one of those?"

This caused her to fall backward on the floor, rolling onto her side because she could no longer hold herself up while laughing. "I'm a girl, aren't I?" This sent her into another fit of hysterics and she narrowly missed hitting her head on the leg of the coffee table.

"You're part of Kai's fan club?" Max squeaked, staring at her in a mixture of horror and curiosity. The dark glare from said blader turned from the girl on the floor to Max and the blonde cringed.

The girl coughed, struggling to sit up, nodding her head before abruptly fixing them with a serious expression that was spoiled by the tears of laughter in her eyes. "No."

Rei sighed heavily, choosing to ignore the light blush that colored his - her? - cheeks. "So can you help us?"

She tilted her head, an easy grin gracing her lips. "Depends. What's in it for me?"

"We kill you if you don't?" Takao suggested.

"You're a regular funny man, aren't you?" the girl deadpanned.

"We'll think of something," Rei said slowly to which the girl favored him with a laugh.

Kai regarded her with a blank expression for a long time, mulling over the options in his - …her? - mind. Finally, seeing it was either this or let her go to tell the media and start a riot, he said, "We should know the name of our team manager, don't you think?"

Ignoring the startled looks from the other three, she stood and took the hand Kai (reluctantly) offered her. "Guess that's fair. It's Riley," she said with a grin. "Riley Taylor."

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**_Tsudzuku_**

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Can't believe no one figured out who the girl with the skateboard was... XD It'll be revealed next time.

And the harassment shall continue! But only in the next chapter because the doctors want me to have quiet time now.

Review, please!

MI


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